I believe in happily ever after, but it doesn’t happen without a lot of sweat and tears – and a continuous commitment to the partnership. Anyone who thinks otherwise would be naively mistaken.
Today is our anniversary. Twenty-nine years ago my two children and I walked down the aisle to join our lives with this man, my husband. And if I could have foreseen all the tiring times, arguments about work (we worked together for 12 years), how to raise our growing family of four children and the sharing of domestic responsibilities I would still say, “I do”. But not to the man he was 29 years ago (as we’ve both changed). However, I would say, “I do” to the man he continually grows into.
Over the years we’ve had our fair share of disagreements. From full-blown arguments to being so mad at each other we couldn’t see straight. Both of us are strong willed, which brings it’s own set of problems. We’ve had bad days, bad weeks and even a few bad months. However, we both remained committed to the marriage even when we did not particularly like each other. Knowing this helped us weather the stormy times and wait for the calm… again.
Even in the calm, to successfully join one’s life with another is not easy. After all, we are individuals and as we grow and change, the pendulum keeps swinging, and “happily ever after” is an on-going challenge.
Through the years we’ve learned a lot both about each other, and ourselves. We’ve learned to trust each other to have our back, even on our worst days. We’ve learned when arguing to choose our words carefully – the wrong ones hurt. We’ve learned to address issues as they arise, rather than letting them simmer in the background – otherwise they will eventually boil over. Above all, we’ve learned to treat each other with kindness and respect. We’ve learned to say I’m sorry
Happily ever after is not just for fairy tales. However, it’s a fairy tale to think it doesn’t take truth, commitment, openness, kindness, respect and growth to achieve a good marriage. It’s only through making “lots” of mistakes, sadly repeating some of them, that we’ve reached this place in our journey together. A marriage either grows or it dies, even if you’re still together.
After all these years I’m still crazy in love with him, actually even more.